Happy or sad?

[Drew Stephenson]

Bit of an unusual one for you today folks, looking for a bit of direction. I've come up with a short set of lyrics but I'm in two minds of where to go with music, I was originally minded to go with a quite upbeat tune. But, thinking further, it could be a real kicker with something more subdued. Here's the lyrics, all suggestions welcome:
Michael Birkeland's last night at home

This one is for Madelaine, it says be well.
There will be better times.

This one is for Peter, it says be true. It's all he needs to know.
This one is for Becca, she did nothing wrong, she knows this.

This one is for the dog, it's a bone.
This one is for you, don't open it yet. Please.

This one's for Tom, I changed my mind.
This one is for me, it says goodbye.

[One Horse Town]

Not sure about the 'dog and bone' bit.....you're at risk of getting into cockney rhyme etc.
The rest is good.......standout verse is the last one. I'd start with that then backtrack from there or perhaps use it as a recurring verse. It suggests a ballad to me rather than anything faster.

[Martin Walker]

The rest is good.......standout verse is the last one. I'd start with that then backtrack from there or perhaps use it as a recurring verse. It suggests a ballad to me rather than anything faster.

+1

I really like this quirky lyrical approach blinddrew, but it does need to be a slower number to my mind.

Martin

[Drew Stephenson]

Cheers folks,
Have been working on various approaches today and given it up for the time being as I'm knackered and not focusing properly.
Also I'll have to change the title as it turns out Michael Birkeland is a real (and moderately famous) person.

[Martin Walker]

Also I'll have to change the title as it turns out Michael Birkeland is a real (and moderately famous) person.

That's always a problem - I once spotted a spoof video dedicated to a Martin Walker

Martin

[Drew Stephenson]

Playing around with a couple of options at the moment, here's one: https://youtu.be/wZ0aio8inMU and there's another in the list, but I'm not really happy with them.
Could be one to throw to the band and see if they want to run with it I think.

[Drew Stephenson]

Or there's this one I just came up with but I think I'm just churning stuff now: https://youtu.be/NnqE-D2efqI

[Martin Walker]

Or there's this one I just came up with but I think I'm just churning stuff now: https://youtu.be/NnqE-D2efqI

I LIKE that!

[Drew Stephenson]

Now I'm just confused! I'll give it a week and see how it lies.

[Martin Walker]

Just listened to them both again and realised why I like no.3 so much better - no.2 reminds me of (wait for it) 'Streets Of London' while on no.3 I can already hear a string quartet and plucked double bass coming in later on the arrangement

3 just sounds more memorable and 'bigger' in scope to my ears

...while during no.2 I imagine hearing the chinking of glasses and the rustling of crisp packets from the audience



Martin

[awjoe]

Just listened to them both again and realised why I like no.3 so much better

Martin

+1

[Drew Stephenson]

You make a compelling case!

[Martin Walker]

You make a compelling case!

Yes, it comes in a variety of colours, complete with brass handles and easy-move wheels

No.3 it is

Martin

[Drew Stephenson]

Just to put you off your stride, or in the interests of full disclosure if you prefer, there's now a version 4 as well...
https://youtu.be/r7tjQgfi_iM
I promise that's it though

[Martin Walker]

there's now a version 4 as well...
https://youtu.be/r7tjQgfi_iM
I promise that's it though

[Drew Stephenson]

It's a bit different to the others

[Martin Walker]

Sorry old bean, I still prefer no.3 personally

But then I probably won't be the target audience

Martin

[Drew Stephenson]

Sorry old bean, I still prefer no.3 personally

But then I probably won't be the target audience

Martin

Ha! The joke's on you old chap, by listening to it once you have automatically self-selected as my (entire) audience, target or otherwise

[petev3.1]

I like the words. I hear Cat Stevens, and also his vocal delivery. To me these words don't want to be 'jazzed up' or casual but sung on the beat quite evenly. Almost like a children's choir would have to sing it. It's all personal taste, of course, and this is just how it seems to me.

[Drew Stephenson]

Cheers Pete, will give that a bit of thought. My starting point was a conversational vibe, but I'll have a play.