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Comments please

Post by OneWorld »

Just uploaded a track, would appreciate comments please....

https://soundcloud.com/acoustimax/BulletsAndTears

Thanks
OneWorld
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Re: Comments please

Post by blinddrew »

Typing as I listen and for me the vocals need to come up. It's all about the lyrics and I'm struggling to hear them in places - works better in mono because of the wide spacing but I think they need a lift.
Some nice chord changes in there. :thumbup:
The vocal line at the key change at 3 min doesn't sound very confident and makes the change sound almost accidental.
Arrangement-wise, the opening guitar plays solidly through the first 3 1/2 minutes then drops out for thirty seconds, at which point there's nothing happening in the RH side. Might be worth looking at seeing if there's an earlier spot to drop this to change it up a bit earlier and allow it to balance the LH side during that section.
Really need to bring those vocals up because I think there's a lovely whimsical message in there but I'm having to really dig in to hear it.
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Re: Comments please

Post by OneWorld »

blinddrew wrote: Mon Sep 26, 2022 4:44 pm Typing as I listen and for me the vocals need to come up. It's all about the lyrics and I'm struggling to hear them in places - works better in mono because of the wide spacing but I think they need a lift.
Some nice chord changes in there. :thumbup:
The vocal line at the key change at 3 min doesn't sound very confident and makes the change sound almost accidental.
Arrangement-wise, the opening guitar plays solidly through the first 3 1/2 minutes then drops out for thirty seconds, at which point there's nothing happening in the RH side. Might be worth looking at seeing if there's an earlier spot to drop this to change it up a bit earlier and allow it to balance the LH side during that section.
Really need to bring those vocals up because I think there's a lovely whimsical message in there but I'm having to really dig in to hear it.

Thanks and well spotted. I am just setting up a mew mastering regime, and on checking, in order to get more stereo 'space' I'd panned hard left and right, thinking I'd only applied that panning to strings, but on inspection I had panned everything hard right and left, so yep the voice needs to go bang in the middle.

You're right about the vocals at the key change too, I really struggle with pitching vocals, I am trying to hit notes that I can't and when singing the part think to myself "Oh no, here comes that note again"
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Re: Comments please

Post by W1D3Y8W0Y »

Sounds lush, I love it, I'd go for more bass personally, but sounds great as is
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Re: Comments please

Post by OneWorld »

W1D3Y8W0Y wrote: Wed Sep 28, 2022 11:13 am Sounds lush, I love it, I'd go for more bass personally, but sounds great as is

Thanks. I use my hardware synth bass and I can never get a balance, turn it up too much to where all notes are heard and it dominates and sort of muddies up the mix. So I lower the volume to where there is more parity between the instruments, and forfeit some notes being heard, it seems at certain frequencies the bass comes through loud and clear, other notes don't, they get lost.

I am not a bass player, though play the guitar, maybe I should not be a lazy bones, get the bass down off the wall and play a live bass part
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Re: Comments please

Post by Sam Inglis »

Nice composition with a lovely feel to it. To my ears the vocal level isn't consistent enough. It starts too quiet but there are also places where it sticks out. I think it needs more compression and/or some level automation. The vocal tuning is a bit heavy-handed.

The bass level seems about right to me.

Something bothers me about the use of reverb in this mix. I'm not entirely sure, but it sounds as though there may be a single reverb on everything which is making it all seem a bit homogeneous and characterless. I think I'd want to try out a few different reverbs and delays, and also experiment with making some things more or less dry. To my ears, for example, there's perhaps too much reverb on the guitar.
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Re: Comments please

Post by OneWorld »

Sam Inglis wrote: Wed Sep 28, 2022 12:46 pm Nice composition with a lovely feel to it. To my ears the vocal level isn't consistent enough. It starts too quiet but there are also places where it sticks out. I think it needs more compression and/or some level automation. The vocal tuning is a bit heavy-handed.

The bass level seems about right to me.

Something bothers me about the use of reverb in this mix. I'm not entirely sure, but it sounds as though there may be a single reverb on everything which is making it all seem a bit homogeneous and characterless. I think I'd want to try out a few different reverbs and delays, and also experiment with making some things more or less dry. To my ears, for example, there's perhaps too much reverb on the guitar.

They are great objective comments, something for me to work on
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Re: Comments please

Post by Aaron Straley »

I like the song and the general feel of it. Nice composition and lyrics!

For a slight improvement, I have the same thoughts as others. The vocal needs brought out more in some places where it gets low. Volume automation and compression would make sense
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Re: Comments please, track updated

Post by OneWorld »

I had read the comments and done a bit of a re-arrangement and tried to improve the voice, please let me know what you think. Thanks

https://soundcloud.com/acoustimax/bulletsandtears
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Re: Comments please

Post by Tomás Mulcahy »

The balance is great, I like the melody and the harmonies are cool. I'd prefer a lot less autotune. Sounds like you have an interesting accent, let's hear the character. People love that in a singer. Try going for a performance in one take. There's probably a bit too much lip smacking sound as well- is that a lot of compression?
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Re: Comments please

Post by Exalted Wombat »

New version is a great improvement. I can now hear most of the words. (But can we go for ALL of them?)

Can't we manage this without auto-tune? Maybe use the tuned vocal as a guide track while recording another attempt? Were you THAT far off the pitches in the opening phrase? It really does sound like a vocoder!
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You don't have to write songs. The world doesn't want you to write songs. It would probably prefer it if you didn't. So write songs if you want to. Otherwise, dont bore us with beefing about it. Go fishing instead.

Re: Comments please

Post by Arpangel »

Exalted Wombat wrote: Sun Oct 30, 2022 12:01 pm New version is a great improvement. I can now hear most of the words. (But can we go for ALL of them?)

Can't we manage this without auto-tune? Maybe use the tuned vocal as a guide track while recording another attempt? Were you THAT far off the pitches in the opening phrase? It really does sound like a vocoder!

Me also, the thing that distracted me was the auto tune, it’s too obvious, and doesn’t in any way suit the nature of the song, makes it sound too synthetic.
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That’s another thing
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