My Eye Your Eye - Feedback welcome please

[Drew Stephenson]

I'm a sensitive soul!

[amanise]

Firstly - thank you all so much for taking the time to do this, as always - amazing!

I have worked though the following issues;

Drums too low - brought them up a bit
Rhythmic drive from the snare added in the verses (carefully)
Changes made to the second verse to make if a little different (rhythm guitar weeded out until the chorus and extra snare hits start here to pick things up a bit)
'listening through a tunnel filled with jelly' in the middle section - hopefully addressed by removing the phasis plug in from the guitar bass from the whole track. (What was I thinking?) Tightens things up down below a bit all the way through and now there are some transients! (I think)
Tweaked up the high mids and the top end - but being careful as I am often too brash!
V2 is now up here, for anyone who wants to have another listen now;

https://soundcloud.com/adrian-manise/my ... al_sharing

Thank you all once again, and see you at the Grammys!
Adrian

[sonics]

What is it you're trying to create?

Lots of your sound, arrangement and mix choices are quite obscure. I have to admit that I got through only 30s of the first mix, and just over a minute of the second. I have no source of reference, and thus I'm unable to comment; it may sound perfect as it is. I can imagine (just about, from what I heard) what I would term a "straightened-out" version, but I guess that's not what you're trying to create? If you want the mix to sound strange, then you've most definitely succeeded (that's praise, not sarcasm).

[Drew Stephenson]

If this was my track, there'd be three things I'd be looking at.
Firstly I think the bass is still a bit too dominant. It's carrying a lot of energy up into the low mids and making it harder for the drums to have space.
Which brings me to secondly, to me the drums and bass parts feel like they're working against each other in the verses, but it might be because the kick isn't coming through clearly enough against the bass. I'm going to guess you recorded the bass part first and then added the drums?
Finally, I'd love to hear a version with a confident, unprocessed, leading vocal.
Sung by you.

I say 'if this was my track' though because these are all stylistic things and it's your vision to execute.

[tea for two]

V2
https://soundcloud.com/adrian-manise/my ... al_sharing

I'm late to the show. I think this would make a triffic instrumental. Also as an instrumental doesn't require any drums percussion.
There's sciencey techy shows this would be superb for as an instrumental theme tune without drums percussion.

[amanise]

What is it you're trying to create?

Lots of your sound, arrangement and mix choices are quite obscure. I have to admit that I got through only 30s of the first mix, and just over a minute of the second. I have no source of reference, and thus I'm unable to comment; it may sound perfect as it is. I can imagine (just about, from what I heard) what I would term a "straightened-out" version, but I guess that's not what you're trying to create? If you want the mix to sound strange, then you've most definitely succeeded (that's praise, not sarcasm).

Yes, obscure is a good way of putting it! There's no plan (apart from using the instrumentation that I like) when I put these together. This is a hobbyist here - not a seasoned pro. Strange is good, this one started withe lyrics - and then the drums were picked out around the rhythm they made. Just about everything I do ends up off beat and syncopated. I paint myself into lots of corners. Thanks for taking the time to test the water!

[amanise]

... it might be because the kick isn't coming through clearly enough against the bass. I'm going to guess you recorded the bass part first and then added the drums?
...Finally, I'd love to hear a version with a confident, unprocessed, leading vocal.
Sung by you.

I say 'if this was my track' though because these are all stylistic things and it's your vision to execute.

Thanks Drew! The usual order of things on this. Lyrics written first, drums picked out around those, and then midi keyboards (which included the left side wah'd synth bass), then bass guitar for the right side - which I recorded from the line out of my Ashdown Perfect 10 but compressed quite heavily for me, then the rhythm guitar - Strat, Boss Humaniser, Marshall JTM45, Bugera attenuated mic output to a desk channel. Then vocals - 2 mics, left side compressed a bit, right side through a megaphone emulator. Then given separate stereo tracks in ACID so that the clean side can be mangled with delay and then flanged with the delay disappearing off to the left - the megaphone then sits on top of the right side and has some of the delays of the left underneath it. It totally mangles the whole thing - but that's what I want, as we've discussed separately. I hear what you (and others actually, now) say - but I'm not there yet But I thank you for it, and maybe one day..
So its a mixture of outboard stuff on the way into recording, and plug ins in the box after capture. Hence some things I can't undo once they're in there - but we all know that when we use outboard kit, right?
You're bang on with the kick drum, it's getting lost. I might try just pushing that a bit on its own and see what happens. Nice thing is no one is going to sack me for any of it!

[jaminem]

Drums much better - less anonymous.
It does mean however that some of the off beat snares stick out a bit more, and a couple of them are dragging a little and could do with a nudge - use your ears NOT the grid here.

Agree with Drew, the bass line is a bit loud during the verses. I kinda like its level during the instrumental break in the middle tho.

As a compromise on the vocal perhaps you could try stick the effect on a send and then raising the effect level up and down - maybe less in the chorus? or just bring it up and places where it has impact or you want the effect to serve the song for emphasis or interest rather than all he way through?

Its pretty mental tho! If you going for strange you're definitely getting there!

[amanise]

V2
https://soundcloud.com/adrian-manise/my ... al_sharing

I'm late to the show. I think this would make a triffic instrumental. Also as an instrumental doesn't require any drums percussion.
There's sciencey techy shows this would be superb for as an instrumental theme tune without drums percussion.

That's actually pretty good advice - and thanks for listening! It would certainly be my quickest way out of it
Every time I play anything I've done to my wife she always says "Cop show! - they've just caught up with the bad guys, and are now going down the pub". I'm more likely to do this one, than de-mangle my vocals
Thanks again!

[amanise]

I'm totally gob smacked that nobody has picked me up for my wanton plagiarism of Shakespeare in the chorus lyrics! Wot, no outraged classics scholars out there?

[amanise]

Drums much better - less anonymous.
It does mean however that some of the off beat snares stick out a bit more, and a couple of them are dragging a little and could do with a nudge - use your ears NOT the grid here.

Agree with Drew, the bass line is a bit loud during the verses. I kinda like its level during the instrumental break in the middle tho.

As a compromise on the vocal perhaps you could try stick the effect on a send and then raising the effect level up and down - maybe less in the chorus? or just bring it up and places where it has impact or you want the effect to serve the song for emphasis or interest rather than all he way through?

Its pretty mental tho! If you going for strange you're definitely getting there!

Aha! Now you're talking! Thanks! I can do those with volume envelopes - but not the drummy thing. I'm no drummer - as you can tell - and a real drummer would kill me if they met me in the street. I think it'll have to stay as it is in terms of super snare accuracy. I know what you mean though - and thanks.

[Drew Stephenson]

I'm totally gob smacked that nobody has picked me up for my wanton plagiarism of Shakespeare in the chorus lyrics! Wot, no outraged classics scholars out there?

It's nothing he didn't do himself.